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past&present
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Friday, July 31, 2009
7/31/2009 09:04:00 AM

Oh iya, gw udah punya account di twitter
Gw emang gak setiap hari update blog di sini..
Kadang gw masuk ke blogger cuma untuk ngetik beberapa kalimat terus gw tinggal
Pas gw sempet baru gw selesaiin postingannya
Makanya postingan gw suka beberapa hari kemudian baru keluar dari tanggal postingan
Tapi kalo mau yang lebih up date, ya di twitter..
Follow me yahh.. ^^


Wednesday, July 29, 2009
7/29/2009 11:27:00 PM

For those who know me personally, semua pasti setuju kalo gw tergila-gila sama buku dari kecil. Waktu gw masih TK, gw udah baca majalah Bobo setiap minggu. Gw inget, waktu itu majalah Bobo terbit setiap Selasa, dan setiap Rabu gw ribut mau pergi ke rumah Ama gw (dari bokap) untuk baca majalah Bobo nya sepupu gw (dia yang langganan Bobo). Masuk SD kelas 1, gw melahap semua bacaan yang ada di rumah. Kalo nyokap gw berbaik hati beliin gw buku, gw bisa gak tidur untuk habisin baca buku itui. Even nyokap gw udah matiin lampu, gw pelan-pelan sembunyiin senter untuk baca buku dalam selimut (no wonder minus mata gw sekarang hampir 10 yah? Hehe). Pernah satu kali gw ketiduran waktu baca buku dalam selimut, besok paginya pas nyokap gw bangunin, dia nemuin buku yang masih terbuka beserta senter yang udah abis baterenya.. diomelin deh gw. Pernah juga 1x, adiknya bokap gw beliin buku buat gw. Bokap nyokap gw gak ijinin gw baca buku itu karena lagi musim ulangan. Malemnya gw gelisah gak bisa tidur. Akhirnya jam 3 pagi gw bangun trus baca buku itu.

Suatu hari, salah satu sepupu nyokap gw ngasih gw satu kardus penuh berisi buku bacaan: komik, novel anak-anak (kebanyakan buku Enid Blyton). Kebetulan waktu itu lagi libur kenaikan kelas. Gw serasa dapet harta karun. Gw ngurung diri aja di kamar, duduk manis baca buku gak berhenti.. Seminggu kemudian, gw udah bingung mo baca apaan lagi.. semua buku udah gw baca. Akhirnya gw baca ulang semua buku-buku itu. Sekarang tu buku udah gak tau ke mana semua.. Kayaknya dikasih orang deh.. sayang banget

Sampai sekarang, ke manapun gw pergi, dalam tas gw pasti ada 1 buku untuk gw baca. Itu nolong banget, soalnya gw sering pergi sendirian.. dan kalo pergi sendirian, ada saatnya loe mati gaya, gak tau mau ngapain. Gw gak pernah ngerasa mati gaya, soalnya sebelum mati gaya pasti tu buku udah di tangan gw. Kalopun gak pergi sendirian, tu buku bakal nolong banget pas di jalan, ato pas orang yang janjian ma gw telat. Kalo gak ada buku gw bisa bt uring-uringan nunggu orang yang telat. Buku bikin gw tambah "sabar" nunggu orang telat.

Sejak kuliah, gw membiasakan diri beli 2 buku setiap bulannya. Enggak pasti juga sih.. ada saatnya gw lagi gak ada duit, ato emang bener-bener gak ada buku di display toko buku yang gw suka, gw gak maksa juga untuk beli. Tapi yang pasti di rumah gw gak pernah 1 waktu gak ada satupun buku yang bisa gw baca.

Cita-cita gw, kalo gw punya rumah nanti, gw mo bikin library untuk simpen buku-buku gw. Gw lagi berusaha ngumpulin lagi semua buku gw yang bertebaran di mana-mana..

Monday, July 27, 2009
7/27/2009 01:22:00 AM

WELL here's a few reasons why guys like girls...

1. They will always smell good even if its just shampoo
2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder
3. How cute they look when they sleep
4. The ease in which they fit into our arms
5. The way they kiss u and all of a sudden everything is right in the world
6. How cute they are when they eat
7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end makes it all worth while
8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 out side
9. The way they look good no matter what they wear
10. The way they fish for compliments even though u both know that u think she's the most beautiful thing on this earth
11. How cute they are when they argue
12. The way her hand always finds urs
13. The way they smile
14. The way u feel when u see their name on the call ID after u just had a big fight
15. The way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though u know that an hour later u will be arguing about something
16. The way they kiss when u do something nice for them
17. The way they kiss u when u say "I love u'
18. Actually ... ! ! ju...st the way they kiss u...
19. The way they fall into ur arms when they cry
20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly
21. The way they hit u and expect it to hurt
22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt (even though we don't admit it)!
23. The way they say "I miss u"
24. The way u miss them
25. The way their tears make u want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore.....

Yet regardless if u love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that u would die without them ... it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to u. When u look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and u say a million things without trace of a sound, u know that your own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons, No paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart.

Gw dapet ini dari email di mailing list dari SMP, and gw masih simpen sampe sekarang.. It's just cute, hehe. So I repost it here biar gak ilang.. enjoy ^^

Saturday, July 25, 2009
7/25/2009 01:51:00 AM


Yeah, plan married gw ma Bear kayaknya udah mulai "real". Senin kemaren Bear udah ngomong ma bokap nyokap gw tentang plan bokap nyokap dia mo dateng lamar gw.. So tadi siang gw melakukan satu langkah nyata untuk mengawali terealisasinya married gw: gw ikut Jakarta Wedding Festival di JHCC.

Paginya gw ke kampus untuk kumpul skripsi dulu, trus sama Jansen kita ke Plaza Senayan untuk lunch and ngobrol sambil ngopi di Starbucks.. Jam 2 Bear jemput, then kita ke JHCC. Gilaa.. banyak banget vendor-vendor, gw ampe bingung, smua SPG and SPB manggil-manggil, nawarin brosur, gw sampe bawa pulang 1 tas penuh berisi brosur yang gak tau mau diapain, padahal banyak yang gw tolak juga. Pusing gak tau mau yang mana. Tapi akhirnya gw ketemu satu fotografer yang lumayan asik orangnya and keren karya2nya.. Gw, Bear and Jansen ngobrol sama dia sampe 3 jam. Jadi kesimpulannya yang lumayan berkesan dari JWF kali ini cuma si fotografer itu aja.. itupun blom tentu mo foto ma dia.. *mahal gila

Ternyata married emang mahal and ribet abissss.. kalo budget unlimited sih gak pusing kali.. tinggal liat-suka langsung ok, gak pusing duit..

Gw keluar dari JHCC jam 10 malem.. dalam keadaan capek and pusing, yeah!!

Friday, July 24, 2009
7/24/2009 12:38:00 AM

"When will you be home?" she asks
as we watch the planes take off
We both know we have no clear answer to where my dreams may lead
She's watched me as i crawled and stumbled
As a child, she was my world
And now to let me go, I know she bleeds
and yet she says to me

"You can fly so high
Keep your gaze upon the sky
I'll be prayin every step along the way
Even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far apart
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away"

Autumn leaves fell into spring time and
Silver-painted hair
Daddy called one evening saying
"We need you. Please come back"
When I saw her laying in her bed
Fragile as a child
Pale just like an angel taking flight
I held her as I cried

"You can fly so high
Keep your gaze upon the sky
I'll be prayin every step along the way
Even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far apart
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away
ohh...
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away"

by: Corrine May

After blog walking, and si pemilik blog mention about this song. Langsung gw browsing and waktu denger lagu ini, I almost cry. Tiba-tiba ngerasa rindu yang amat sangat sama nyokap gw. Besok gw pulang Sunter and I'll meet her. I love you, Mom.. so much..

Thursday, July 23, 2009
7/23/2009 04:32:00 PM

There's one of my friend yang always complain..
Kalo dia udah gak suka sama seseorang, di mata dia orang itu gak akan pernah bener
Apapun yang dia lakuin always salah, apapun yang dia omongin selalu salah
Dan yang bikin gw empet, tu orang always complainnya ke gw
Udah beberapa kali ni.. yang tadinya gw biasa-biasa aja ma orang itu, gara-gara temen gw ini gw malah jadi ngebela orang itu
Dulu dia pernah benci mampus sama 1 penyanyi, inisialnya D
Gw sih biasa-biasa aja, sebel enggak suka juga enggak
Tapi gara-gara temen gw ini benci banget..
Dari pakaian sampe gaya ngomong dikomentarin
Gak penting banget
Lama-lama gw malah jadi ngebelain D..
Bukan gw jadi suka ma D, tapi gw empet abis denger complainnya dia

Terakhir-terakhir ini, pas masa-masa election..
Dia tu benci mampus ma salah satu kandidat dan dia pro abis ma kandidat yang satu lagi
Yang tadinya jarang telpon kalo gak penting-penting banget..
Bisa-bisanya tiba-tiba suatu hari telpon gw and suruh gw beli satu tabloid
Isinya tuh ngejelek-jelekkin kandidat yang dia benci itu
Geezzz.. please deehh..
And gw tuh tipe yang sumpah-gak-peduli ma politik, terutama Indonesia
Mungkin gw lebih ikutin berita election di US daripada Indonesia
And dia tuh.. sumpah deh.. berusaha berbagai cara daya dan upaya untuk maksa gw ikut-ikutan benci kandidat satu itu
Sekali lagi.. yang tadinya gw biasa-biasa aja ma tu orang..
Belakangan malah gw berusaha cari-cari kebaikan orang itu untuk nutup mulut temen gw ini
Tetep aja.. yang namanya udah benci ya benci aja..
Dibilang cari perhatian lahh.. lebai lahh..
Namanya juga campaign, udah hidup berapa lama loe? Masa masi gak tau juga kalo campaign ya masa-masanya para kandidat itu memberikan janji-janji surga??
Terealisasi ato enggak.. itu urusan nanti
Gw ampe cape
Terserah loe lah yaa..
Loe mo benci ya benci aja
Gw mo benci ma sapa juga gak pernah maksa-maksa elo untuk benci ma tu orang juga kok
Enough lah ya with that complain..
Bosen dengernya

Gw ngerti sih.. kadang-kadang kita emang mau juga complain, ngomel-ngomel, ngadu, curhat, etc
Kalo cuma 1x ato 2x sih gw masih diem..
Kalo berbulan-bulan setiap ketemu ngomongin itu itu mulu..
Eneg gak loe??

Temen gw ini sih tau blog gw.. bodo ahh..
Like she said, "My page, my voice"

Sunday, July 19, 2009
7/19/2009 12:07:00 AM


Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by...

If you smile
With your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll find that life is still worthwhile if you'll just...

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you'll just...

Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by...

If you smile
Through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you'll just Smile...

That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you'll just Smile

by: Charlie Chaplin

Friday, July 17, 2009
7/17/2009 11:56:00 AM


Should we say "Go to hell you, terrorists!!" or like Jesus said "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing"?? Think about it!

My heart goes out to anyone who have lost their loved ones :(

Sunday, July 12, 2009
7/12/2009 02:40:00 AM


Bersama kita datang dari beraneka warna
Berkumpul, Saling peduli
Bersama kita datang dari beragam problema
Berdoa, satukan hati

*
Walau kadang masalah, walau kadang miskomunikasi
Walau kadang kita jauh, tapi ku selalu rindu

Legacy...komunitas tercinta
Legacy...tempat ku bertumbuh
Legacy...kita semua saudara
dalam suka ataupun duka

Legacy...keluarga tercinta
Legacy...tempat kumemberi
Legacy...jadi dampak tuk sesama
biar kasih Kristus yang slalu di hati

Hari - hari kita jalani saling mengerti dan terbuka
Mau belajar, mau mengerti
Hari - hari kita jalani dengan semangat dan doa
Tuhan Yesus, harus yang utama


back to *
by: Fonti N D'meenies

This is my community.. namanya Legacy! Pertama kali ke Legacy! sekitar bukan Februari-Maret gitu (lupa juga), yang ajak si Cindy. Pertama dateng gw gak tertarik.. soalnya anak-anaknya gak ada yang gw deket. Saat itu gw gak deket sama Cindy juga, cuma kenal gitu doank.. Walaupun gw tau ada beberapa temen lama gw dari GeTT dulu, still gw gak terlalu deket sama mereka. Tapi setelah gw dateng beberapa kali, gw jadi makin akrab sama mereka. And thanks to facebook, yahoo messenger and MSN messenger.. gara-gara 3 media itu jadinya gw bisa ngobrol panjang lebar sama mereka.. And it takes almost 4 months to makes me close with them.. Slowly but sure, satu demi satu gw kenal gak cuma nama dan tampang, tapi udah lebih mendalam (gak sampe ukuran underwear sih, hehe). And now, hampir setiap hari gw pasti berinteraksi minimal sama salah satu dari anak Legacy!

Gw pernah berada dalam satu community yang gw ngerasa "home sweet home" banget di GeTT dulu.. Walopun anak GeTT udah bersolo karier semua (elahh), tapi still.. setiap kita ketemu-di manapun-kita always treat each other as a family. I love them, and they love me. Walopun gak deket dulu, tapi kalo ada salah satu yang kena musibah atau ketimpa masalah, kita masih saling ngasih kabar satu sama lain.. And seriously, gw gak pernah ketemu lagi yang namanya "family" sejak saat itu.. sampe sekarang

Legacy dimulai dari segelintir orang.. dan beberapa dari mereka emang anak GeTT.. gak tau ngaruh dari sana ato enggak, tapi gw ngerasa nemuin "home" lagi. Gw bisa gila pas gw mo gila, gw bisa sharing kapanpun gw mau, gw tau mereka selalu berusaha gimanapun caranya untuk bantu gw kapanpun gw butuh bantuan, gw bisa ngomong pikiran gila gw-segila apapun itu-dan gw tau mereka gak akan judge gw. That's what I called family.. family yang gak gw temuin bahkan di rumah gw sendiri

Kita bukannya gak pernah berantem, malah sering terjadi perselisihan di Legacy!, ya iya lahh.. di sini dari penyanyi profesional sampe gelandangan juga ada.. dari mahasiswa S2 sampe pria berusia 22 tahun tapi lagi ambil kejar paket-A (SD) juga ada.. dari mantan gay sampe mantan shemale juga ada.. pasti terjadi perselisihan, kesalahpahaman, and perbedaan cara pandang.. tapi gw selalu liat akhir yang manis, selalu ada perdamaian, tanpa dendam berkepanjangan.. bahkan orang yang ngeselin banget juga ada.. dan tetep kita semua belajar untuk mengasihi dia.. sweet..

For Legacy!, if you read this, guys.. I love y'all, I really do.. =)

Ps: buat yang mo ikutan Legacy, you can contact me

Thursday, July 09, 2009
7/09/2009 11:52:00 PM

Ada berita yang beredar tentang meninggalnya Michael Jackson gara-gara overdosis and one of the reason is because he felt lonely.. Dan berita ini bikin banyak orang bingung, gak ngerti, gak percaya.. how come the King of Pop bisa-bisanya feel lonely? Well, gw bukannya mo ngebahas tentang MJ lagi.. enough with MJ kali ya.. gak ada abisnya ngebahas tentang MJ gitu. I just want to share something about lonely, but my loneliness and MJ's loneliness is totally different ya.. His loneliness killed him, but my loneliness makes me alive.. hehe

To tell you the truth, I do understand gimana rasanya berada di tengah keramaian, still you feel lonely. Gak semua orang yang tau gw kenal gw, dan gak semua orang yang kenal gw ngerti akan hal ini. Waktu gw high school, gw bisa aja duduk sendiri di pojok belakang, enjoy my "me" time. I wrote here in [[*Trapped Soul*]] column that I'm not so socialized person. Ada orang-orang yang gak bisa idup tanpa teman, I know some of them. But for me, I have to learn how to have fun waktu gw lagi sama temen-temen. Still, ada saat-saat di mana gw pengen sendiri, pergi-pergi sendiri, nonton bioskop sendiri, makan sendiri, seru sendiri, pokoknya sendiri. Dan saat-saat gw pengen sendirian itu lumayan sering. Orang suka bingung n nanya, "kok loe bisa sih sendirian gitu?" justru gw yang mo nanya, "Kok loe orang gak bisa sihh sendirian??" Because for me, it's fun. I enjoy it, I really do.

Waktu gw sendiri, gw bisa mengamati orang yang lagi duduk sendirian sambil mikir, "Apa yang ada di pikiran dia ya? Dia lagi ngerasa kayak apa ya? Apa dia lagi sedih? Sedih kenapa? Dia punya anak gak ya? Anaknya kayak apa?" dan berjuta pikiran lainnya. Atau gw bisa mengamati 2 orang cewek modis yang lagi duduk di Starbucks sambil di tangan mereka megang Blackberry and mikir, "Orang itu kayak apa ya? Kenapa mereka hangout jam segini? Ini kan waktunya orang kerja.. Apa mereka gak kerja?" and suddenly di otak gw kayak film yang berputar ceritain kalo cewek yang pertama lagi stress gara-gara dipecat dan dia bbm-in tmnnya (cewek yang kedua) untuk ketemuan, ngobrol-ngobrol sambil selipin curhatan kalo dia lagi jobless and berharap temennya itu mau bantuin cari kerjaan. Seriously, it's fun..

Bisa juga gw cuma duduk di Coffee Bean sendirian, bawa buku (ke manapun gw pergi, di tas gw selalu ada buku yang blom gw baca), trus gw baca buku. Tiba-tiba aja gw udah duduk 3 jam. And it's also fun..

Kalo gw lagi sedih atau lagi banyak pikiran, gw bisa juga duduk di salah satu Cafe (u name it lah..), order a cup of coffee then pikirin apa way out untuk my problems. Begitu kopi gw abis, di otak gw udah ada plan A, plan B, plan C untuk selesaiin problem gw dan gw udah bisa tersenyum lagi. Even waktu gw punya problems, gw tetep bisa enjoy it.. Apa yang gak fun?

Waktu ada film drama komedi ringan tentang family, girly atau teenager yang diputer di bioskop, gw biasanya memilih untuk pergi nonton sendiri. Dengan popcorn dan mineral water or a cup of lemon tea, gw nonton sendiri. Gw mo ngakak gila atau nangis sampe bego, gak ada yang peduli. Sometimes gw tau tu film cheesy, still gw nonton.. and bukan karena gw mo nonton, tapi karena emang gw pengen nonton sendirian.. And believe me, kepuasannya beda dengan pas gw nonton sama temen or even my Bear. Kalo nonton sama Bear, gw nonton film yang dia suka juga.. soalnya gw jarang punya kesempatan bisa nonton berdua sama dia.

So.. kenapa loe gak coba untuk hangout sendiri and trying to enjoy it? Trust me, it's fun.. =)

Sunday, July 05, 2009
7/05/2009 01:33:00 AM

Hold Me
Like The River Jordan
And I Will Then Say To Thee
You Are My Friend

Carry Me
Like You Are My Brother
Love Me Like A Mother
Would You Be There?

Weary
Tell Me Will You Hold Me
When Wrong, Will You Skold Me
When Lost Will You Find Me?

But They Told Me
A Man Should Be Faithful
And Walk When Not Able
And Fight Till The End
But I'm Only Human

Everyone's Taking Control Of Me
Seems That The World's
Got A Role For Me
I'm So Confused
Will You Show To Me
You'll Be There For Me
And Care Enough To Bear Me

(Hold Me) show me
(Lay Your Head Lowly)
told me
(Softly Then Boldly)
(Carry Me There)
I'm Only Human

(Lead Me)
hold me
(Love Me And Feed Me)
ye yeah
(Kiss Me And Free Me)
yeah
(I Will Feel Blessed)
I'm Only Human

(Carry)
Carry
(Carry Me Boldly)
Carry me
(Lift Me Up Slowly)
yeah
(Carry Me There)
I'm Only Human

(Save Me)
need me
(Heal Me And Bathe Me)
lift me up lift me up
(Softly You Say To Me)
(I Will Be There)
I Will Be There

(Lift Me)
i'm gonna care
(Lift Me Up Slowly)
(Carry Me Boldly)
yeah
(Show Me You Care)
Show Me You Care

(Hold Me)
whoooo
(Lay Your Head Lowly)
i git lonly some times
(Softly Then Boldly)
i git lonly
(Carry Me There)
yeah yeah carry me there
yeah yeah yeah

[Spoken]
In Our Darkest Hour
In My Deepest Despair
Will You Still Care?
Will You Be There?
In My Trials
And My Tripulations
Through Our Doubts
And Frustrations
In My Violence
In My Turbulence
Through My Fear
And My Confessions
In My Anguish And My Pain
Through My Joy And My Sorrow
In The Promise Of Another Tomorrow
I'll Never Let You Part
For You're Always In My Heart.

by Michael Jackson

Thursday, July 02, 2009
7/02/2009 01:05:00 AM

A little boy of thirteen was on his way to school
He heard a crowd of people laughing and he went to take a look
Thousands were listening to the stories of one man
He spoke with such wisdom, even the kids could understand

The hours passed so quickly, the day turned to night
Everyone was hungry but there was no food in sight
The boy looked in his lunchbox at the little that he had
He wasn't sure what good it'd do, there were thousands to be fed

But he saw the twinkling eyes of Jesus
The kindness in His smile
And the boy cried out
With the trust of a child
He said:

"Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and my inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all to feed them all"

I often think about that boy when I'm feeling small
And I worry that the work I do means nothing at all
But every single tear I cry is a diamond in His hands
And every door that slams in my face, I will offer up in prayer

So I'll give you every breath that I have
Oh Lord, you can work miracles
All that you need is my "Amen"

So take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and my inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
I hope it's not too small

I trust in you
I trust in you

So take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and my inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
No gift is too small
by: Corrine May

THEgirl
[#o1] Do not rip anything off
[#o2] Whats here remains here
[#o3] Tag before you leave
[#o4] The owner shall not be liable for its content
[#o5] No vulgarities
[#o6] Leave if you're unhappy




its me

CJ Tjhin
May 28th
Christian-Presbyterian
in-a-relationship
Choleric-Phlegmatic
Not-so-socialized person
Email Me : Click Here


shoot






my friends
Fhalie
Keyne
Ko Zion
TG
Triplek
VJ-Yes